Child steals: causes
Child theft is the so-called “shameful” problems. For any parent this is usually a shock: the child in the family because no one teaches them to steal, and he takes someone else’s…
This child’s behavior is perceived by the family as evidence of his incurable immorality. “We have no one in the family never did!” — I often hear from those affected relatives. Not only that, the child shames the family, the parents of his future is solely criminal. Though actually, in most cases, it’s not all bad.
The idea of what is “mine” and “theirs”, appears after three years, when he begins to develop a sense of self. Nobody in their right mind would call a thief two-three-year-old, who took without asking anyone’s thing. But the older the child, the more likely that his act would be regarded as an attempt to misappropriate, in other words — as “theft”.
The age of the child in such situation is conclusive evidence of awareness of the committed, although it is not always true. (There are known cases, when children are seven or eight years didn’t realize that by adopting someone’s thing, they violate the generally accepted norms, but sometimes, I have five children, committing theft, well aware that doing bad).
For example, could be considered a thief five year old boy who, feeling great sympathy to his peers, gave her all mom’s gold jewelry? The boy believed that these ornaments also belong to him as his mother.
Error of the child is the parent of error, which, as a rule, do not want to admit their own parents. Not explained to him in time, what is good, what is bad, has not responded to his request and one, and two, didn’t notice that was secretive and taciturn (not stick — and thank God!) — wait, sooner or later, “the storm”. With the need growing into a strong desire (and it is much stronger than just the need) to get what you have all his peers, the child already can’t cope! And it will solve your problem —with parents or without…
Causes of child stealing
One of the main causes of theft in middle and senior school age — children’s lack of pocket money. “Why should they? displeased parried the question of the psychologist, the woman whose daughter is in the class began to suspect in the theft. — I know what my daughter and she, believe me, everything is there: and good clothes, and computer… More money to give? Well, not enough!” The fact of the matter is that the girl didn’t need a computer, and a cheap candy icicles that her classmates at recess bought at the kiosk… In every age of the children — their requests. In 1-3 grades, everybody wants candy in a pretty wrapper, gum, 3-5–x — different consoles, more — more (remember, anyone of us in 9th and 10th grade would not like to have jeans?). Let these universal interests and are not always beneficial to the child (instead of candy and gum, of course, the best fruits and vegetables), but the parents should still go at it “on occasion”. All these periods — gum, consoles, etc. — are rapidly, but the resentment for their own inferiority: everyone has it, so I don’t have, is the desire to possess something that no matter what may cause that will leave a mark for life — stealing.
The most serious cause for concern gives a child, who regularly steals money or items belonging to his family or close friends of the family. Most thefts of this kind are committed by teenagers and younger students, though the origins of such behavior can be in early childhood.
Usually in the process of talking with parents, it appears that in early childhood the child has committed the theft, but then it “figured out” home remedies (unfortunately, often very humiliating for the child). And only in adolescence, when the stealing starts to go outside of the family, the parents understand that the situation is out of control, and seek help from a psychologist.
Research psychologist E. K. Davydova, conducted in families of child-stealing, has shown that theft is the child’s reaction to traumatic of his life circumstances.
My own experience has shown that in families stealing children is emotional coldness between relatives. A child from a family or feels that he did not love, or in early childhood experienced the divorce of parents, and, although the relationship with his father continues, he sees the alienation, even hostility between the parents.
If you compose a psychological portrait of stealing the child, first of all, draws attention to his kindness towards others and his openness. Such a child is ready a lot and frankly tell about yourself (of course, about thefts in our conversations it didn’t come up).
Find out what it’s insecure, vulnerable children, how they need the emotional support and acceptance from his family. This is the main problem, but the behavior of such children, on the contrary, further and further alienate others, set them against themselves.
Most relatives angry and annoyed that the perpetrators of the offense and the child would not understand what he did, he unlocked and behaves as if nothing had happened. Such behaviour causes of adult righteous anger: stole, repent, ask forgiveness, and then we will try to improve relations.
As a result, between him and friends wall grows, the child seems to them a monster, unable to repent.
Such thefts are not intended neither enrichment nor revenge. Most often the child is aware of what he did. On angry question relatives: “Why did you do that?”, he sincerely replies, “don’t know”.
One we can’t understand: theft — a cry for help, an attempt to reach us.
Even some psychologists argue that the cause of child stealing can be easy attitude of parents to the hard work (but this is more a matter of psychotherapists) or to small… money. When the house is constantly scattered rubles and parents do not get tired to repeat that it is not money, the child soon stops to appreciate and thousands. He believes that everything relate to money, and therefore to pull someone out of the pocket needed change does not criminalized…