How the birth of a child affects family relationships
In each family the birth of a child is one of the most anticipated and joyful events. And, of course, this event can not have an impact on family relationships. The relationship has already been formed, with the advent of a new family member need this relationship to change. Therefore, when a woman learns that she will become a mother soon, she experiences not only joy and happiness, as well as feelings of anxiety, uncertainty and fear.
Primarily fear of the unknown (especially if it’s your first pregnancy or previous were unsuccessful). And, based on these feelings, the attention of the expectant mother is completely focused on the sensations, on the kid, which in this antenatal period so necessary care and attention. And well, if the husband with the understanding to that is, but it often happens that it causes the partner confusion and irritation that causes conflict. However, for the future father of this difficult period, because due to the lack of paternal instinct for him getting used to the new order of life is more difficult for women. Also during this period increases and financial responsibility, which lies on him, because now he has single-handedly take care of the financial well-being of the whole family. But if there is love then partners with understanding and respect to each other. And all conflicts are resolved easily and quickly.
The next period comes, when the birth occurs. And now in the family of one person more. And not just on the person, and someone who constantly needs care and concern. And now he’s the center of attention. And, of course, child care is not an easy task. And at this point, parents are required complete dedication and waiver of certain interests in favor of the child. At this stage it often happens that one parent is not ready to sacrifice. And start mutual claims and accusations. So well, if partners can discuss who does what, which contributes, of whom the relatives (the nanny) and how often they will attract, to be alone. Often we think that this goes without saying, and he (she) needs to understand me. But it is better to discuss such issues (because then more chances that you will understand).
3 years after birth begins the process of socialization of the child. Here the child comes under the sphere of influence of the father (not a sphere of constant care). Father familiarizes the child with the environment, leads to a kindergarten, school, teaches them to resolve conflicts on the Playground, tells what is good and what is bad. Naturally, in this period the father of many will deny and not allow the child. But there is a mother who always loves, loves just. And even if the child behaves badly, or indulges in, it is important to know that the mother loves him always and unconditionally. Of course that’s right for your child and good for his development. However, often the mother takes care and educational functions, and care, and everything, everything, everything. And it’s not because no one else will, or the partner does not assume its responsibilities (which is also possible). In this situation the woman is sure that nobody will be able to take care of her baby better than she. And she is absolutely right. However, risk a couple of times, give time dad with a baby, and you will see how many things have you noticed in your child and partner.
Further into puberty, girls go under the sphere of influence of the mother, and learn from them how to be women and boys remain in the sphere of influence of the father, and learn to be men. And again here often there is an imbalance, as mom teaches boy to be a man, or dad teaches girl to be a woman, and such a child will not be confident and Express yourself 100%.
I did not raise the issue of jealousy, and that, as a rule, a man feels that because of the baby he’s on to something loses. This is the most frequent cause of conflict (and also the older children feel that with the birth of a younger brother (sister), their childhood is over). In order to avoid such a situation, it is enough to verify that you have grown up (in emotional terms. Not according to the passport).
Finally some important recommendations :
– Paying attention to the child, do not forget about the partner.
– Find more opportunities to spend time together.
– Discuss moments of parenting with a partner, not hushed up and not suppress offense.
– Trust your partner, he won’t do much better than you, he will do differently. For the child – it will be good.
Never clarify the relationship with the child, your odds of a child not your concern.
– Create a respectful child’s relationship to parents, do not allow yourself to criticize your partner or grandparents with the child.
GRC Centers Relationship.
The opinion of American scientists . Scientists from the US came to the conclusion that having children can be the beginning of disintegration of the family. The fact that the appearance of the baby reduces the satisfaction of the spouses marriage. Important factors are also the family’s financial situation, life in “civil marriage” to formalize the relationship and the ability to relate to parents.
American specialists during the 8 years studied 218 couples. The results of the study showed that 90% of spouses with childbirth decreased pleasure from family life. Problems stem from the fact that the couple often quarrel and do not find understanding.
Scientists noticed that, the worst case in families where the spouses prior to the marriage lived together in so-called “civil marriage” and whose parents fought or broke up.
Least the appearance of the child had a negative impact on relationships in families with high income, as well as in families whose spouses of long-lived marriage to birth of first child.
However, scientists have good news for you. The couple, who will be able to survive “crisis” with the advent of the child, then will live happily ever after. Their families are strengthened, and the relationship is greatly improved.