Why the child is lying?
Every parent sooner or later wonders why his child is lying. Because no one teaches children to lie, but on the contrary, from early childhood, parents try to impart positive qualities, in particular integrity. So how do children develop the ability to hide and distort the truth, while insisting on their version?
Who are our children?
Although children are small, but from the moment of birth of each person with his character, temperament, and life experience is an important component of the child’s identity. And if until a certain age children are not separate themselves from the outside world, approximately 3 years every child feels like a separate individual, and from that moment, we can expect the appearance of a lie.
To understand why children lie, you first need to split them into age groups, as each group present their motives and pitfalls:
Pre-school children from 3 years to 6 years;
Children of school age from 7 years to 11 years;
Teenagers from 12 to 18 years.
Why lie to kids?
In understanding child over 3 years no lie, they don’t know how to lie, at this time they try, the more zealously to show your love to the truth, because that’s what they teach. Remember the endless complaints to the teachers pranks, peers, older children is regarded as bednesti.
Small children do not know how to lie, they fantasize and that’s how you perceive the information obtained from their lips. This is because after 3 years actively developing thinking and imagination warmed tales and cartoons, as well as their own dreams, which is, even in babies.
They don’t lie, they tell the way they feel about their desires, about their understanding of the world and the needs. Remember their game, every time it is theatrical decree with toys, with phrases and events that the children ever seen or would like to see, but it is possible to play with dolls and toy cars, you can play with people who are close by.
That is why preschool children for lying to scold not need, because they do it unconsciously. In such a situation it is best to figure out why the baby himself and that led him to this inspired. For example hearing that at daycare he will go hungry do not immediately believe it, maybe he wanted to eat something different and enjoyed the dish didn’t impress him. The main thing in a similar situation to figure out why the kid said so and that he wanted to get.
Why lie to children of school age?
Children of school age have still not stable perception and a pretty wild imagination, but unlike kids the consequences of their actions they are already aware of, so often, being guilty of something, I try to avoid unnecessary problems.
Conventionally, a lie can be divided into several aspects:
a white lie;
a lie, as one of the models of adult life;
false, as a way to attract attention;
false, because with fantasies to live comfortably.
Remember how often a child caught in a lie, refers to different circumstances, for example, blame the neighbor on the Desk or a cat, but not him. The fact is that at this age the child is already aware of, when will be punished and for what, so having strict parents, trying to avoid the consequences, blaming others.
To indulge, of course, their child is not necessary, because such a habit to shift blame can remain for a lifetime, but why the lie and explain that everyone must answer for their actions self worth. Besides, if the child lies often enough, you may want to revise their requirements to education and to choose another method.
Now remember, as parents often lie, believing a lie largely facilitates life and spare the feelings of relatives. But because the kid lives close by and sees all this, and also reproduces the behavior of adults, but in their interpretation. In this situation, of course, also should understand, but instead of scolding the kid should explain that it is the parents right and everybody needs to ensure that the lies of everyday life disappeared.
You should recall the reasons children lie because of the lack of attention from adults to the inner world of the child. Earlier it several times been caught lying and scolded, praised, and paid attention, and now to communicate with their own parents they have what is called to call the fire itself, for parents to find out what he lives now.
Also in some cases children are due to lack of proper attention to themselves prefer to withdraw and live in their own world. In this case, they do not perceive their lies as distortion of the truth, they believe in their fantasies, because psychologically they are more comfortable there.
In their illusory world there is no abuse of the parents, and there are songs and the conversations are endless, there is always busy dad, but dad was a pilot who loves him and will definitely fly with gifts, and there is no scarce of toys, and there are fairies, who is sure to give a big machine or a doll.
Scold the child for such fantasy is not worth it, but to learn to separate reality and imagination is necessary, because later it is fraught with many complexes and failures in professional life, because accustomed in childhood to escape into their world, the child will do in adult life, but the fantasies are going to change.
Why is lying teenager?
About adolescence written numerous books and a lie at this age, can be considered the norm rather than an aberration. After all the experience that the child has accumulated up to 12 years old, he is trying to implement in the period of growing up, but over a lifetime, albeit a little every child sees enough of lies and is well aware of how it can be used to your advantage.
As a rule, for adolescence is characterized by excessive secrecy, the desire to appear more Mature than it actually is, as well as great need of attention. The child changes, he becomes an adult and is looking for his psychologically comfortable niche.
Of course, not to respond to the existence of the lie of the baby is not necessary, just the opposite. Each situation must be carefully disassembled, thus giving the child to feel that he still love and he already has a personal psychological space.
Not worth it to thoroughly learn all the details of the situation that led to the lie, because teenagers are secretive and very vulnerable, so afraid to be weak and vulnerable. It is best to give some life examples of the consequences that the child understood the consequences of the lie. And we need to develop frameworks dosage information, because there are things that not everyone can tell or maybe it applies to other people.
The main thing in such situations not to cry, not to offend, but to make it clear that the child will love you no matter what and that lie leads only to grief, so it’s best to keep back, warning in advance, than to offend their beloved parents.